Dealing with an emotionally abusive partner

Dear Cupid…

I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now. We are so in love and we make such a great couple - he has always been loving and caring and we have always resolved our arguments by discussing them without putting up big fights. A couple of months ago, I felt that something changed. He started snapping for meaningless reasons, he blamed me for every fight we had and made me feel guilty about them. I tried to break up with him more than once but every time he says he’s nothing without me and promises that he will change. I am still in love with him but his behaviour makes me feel confused and anxious. What should I do?

It doesn’t matter how in love you are or how loving he seems. You are living a toxic relationship that is slowly consuming you. We are humans and we make mistakes, that’s what makes us so special and unique. Love can be full of imperfections and it can make you feel sad sometimes but it NEVER hurts like this. You tried to forgive your partner’s behaviour but nothing has changed. Your partner is trying to control you by taking advantage of your good nature. He is emotionally abusing you. This type of abuse might not leave visible bruises but it negatively impacts your soul and your life in general.

You are not a bad person you are victim of emotional abuse. You deserve better. You CAN have better. You don’t deserve to be with someone who makes you feel like you’re nothing. An unhealthy relationship doesn’t make you feel constant anxiety.

There is no way you can fix a person that’s why I suggest you look inside yourself and find the strength to break up with him. If you think you can’t do this alone, if you need some help, talk to someone - a close friend, a family member - who can support you and have your back.

You can also contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline at 0808 2000 247 for free and confidential advice 24 hours a day. If you are a male victim, you can access support through the Men’s Advice Helpline on 0808 8010327.