Karen Perkins Life Coach

Selene

advice

Get A Coach!

Atul Gawande once said, 'If you want to be great at anything, get a coach'! This can also apply to life and love. Life Coaches and Dating Coaches are so necessary to guide you and teach you how to be better and how to do better. Karen Perkins is a Life Coach based in Sheffield, the perfect candidate to help us understand more about love, finding love and finding yourself in the process.

                     

To begin, can you sum up your work and what you do? 

I have been coaching for 12 years after being inspired to set up my own Life Coaching business. My background is in setting up & motivating teams in the third sector. Leading & developing staff often gives me an insight into how important a positive relationship is to people, how it affects their work & self esteem & how gutting it can be if that ends. I remembered how I wasted time looking for a partner in my early 20’s and my experience of marriage and divorce & online dating to eventually find a lovely partner now. I really love helping people work out for themselves what they want from a relationship, and then be brave enough to get it! Especially through lockdown. It’s been difficult but also offers creative dating opportunities. I have coached daters from 18 through to over 76 and across diverse communities.

What makes your style of coaching unique?

People say I am a great listener. I am good at asking people just the right questions to help them find their motivation and direction. I am also techy so can answer online issues. Being a qualified ILM Accredited, degree level coach reassures people.

Do you enjoy what you do? Which is the most rewarding aspect for you?

Seeing people come in to my Zoom room looking crestfallen but leaving with a spring in their step and keen to get started. Dating can be exhausting if you don’t manage it to suit you. 

I note you coach in many different fields, but what approach do you take as a dating coach? How do you begin your journey with a client?

I find out what makes people special, and then I have lots of coaching tools to help them. Being a life coach helps with building dating confidence & boundaries. 

What is your opinion on online dating?

 I love online dating. Its good for Introverts too. If you approach it in the right way it helps you meet so many people & widens your choice. You’d never meet them all in a night out! I met my partner of 7 years online. People used to feel ashamed, but but its just like everything, including shopping, it is online now. 

We place huge importance on online dating photos, do you believe these are an important aspect of an online profile?

 Photos are so important as like bumping into someone in a coffee shop or street market, an authentic photo really connects you. Giving yourself the best chance without being a fake is important. Lots of my clients complained in the early days of online dating that the pictures gave a false impression and they’d wasted time on a date that came to a crashing end when they met up with the real person. Your Zoom look needs to match your photo which needs to portray the authentic you.

In recent months, with lockdowns, have you found people are still keen to find love? What advice would you give for dating in a pandemic?  

People are still keen, probably more so, to find love or keep up with the person they met in between lockdowns. I am getting lots of enquiries and referrals. Some people are planning ahead for when lockdown ends. I help them with a plan for meeting in real life! Its also good to be able to weed out the chancers. 

Do you have online dating tips? What are the golden rules to success? 

Know yourself and what you are looking for. Be prepared to compromise if the person is only 80% what you want. Go with your gut. Any hint of coercive or disrespectful behaviour should set alarm bells going so check that out better to know now before you waste your time long term. 

What common mistakes or attitudes do you see towards those beginning online dating?

They just pile in! They could plan a bit more and life would be easier, that’s why my coaching helps. A good photo/s representing you as you would like to be seen makes it easier for people to select or not. If you love hip hop show it. People can self select so you wont waste your time.

What is your favour client success story? 

I coached someone from never having kissed to kissing …. And they were sooooo pleased it had all gone well. It’s a much more common barrier for people than you think! All the coaching was done on Zoom. I got lovely feedback. It could be someone dating after a long relationship ends or someone trying to date and struggling to get going.

If you could teach your 18-year-old self a lesson, what would it be?

Be true to yourself, don’t wait around, do stuff that matters to you, make a plan and find that person who deserves & respects you. Any fun along the way will help you fine tune what you are really looking for. All dating is good practice. Let someone make you feel cherished even if you don’t have a next date. Use your intuition, are you settling or do you deserve better? 

Have you got any big plans/projects for 2021? What does the year ahead look like for you and your business?  

I am really looking forward to meeting all my friends and relatives in real life again. Also to be doing coaching in person as well.

 I am always looking at new tech so I can help my dating and coaching clients get the best service. Like their photos. I am doing a Compassion qualification & continuing my work with a local cancer charity. Helping people date with a long term condition is something I really enjoy. I am planning to find a new house with sustainable design & tech features. I work around the world by Zoom so maybe I will get to visit these countries again. I want to climb in the Alps and maybe South America. 

I love helping people find someone that really makes them proud & who they fancy like mad! Without all the stress.  People can contact me to arrange a free taster session via my website.

Dating Coaching by Karen Perkins - Life Coach UK  https://www.karenperkinslifecoach.co.uk/dating-coaching.php   

Or follow me Karen on Instagram @fabcoach 

Thank you once again to Karen Perkins for participating in our interview series and giving us an insight into how she operates and how her work can benefit peoples lives.