Rebound Relationships

Dear Cupid...HELP!

I broke up with my historical boyfriend a few months ago. It’s been heart-breaking for me since we’ve been together for 5 years and lived together for 2. Surviving the third lockdown has been quite difficult for me but luckily one of my friends was there to help. I have always had a special relationship with my friend James. He is the most loving and caring person I know. He used to escort me back home after our nights out so that I didn’t have to walk a long way alone; he is the one who cheers me up when I feel down and he always says yes to my crazy ideas. We started texting and calling each other pretty frequently. During one of our calls, he confessed to me that he has always had feelings for me. I think I’m developing some kind of affection towards him but I feel pretty confused. I can’t tell if I’m still in love with my ex, if I’m ready to start a serious relationship or if I really like James. What we have at the moment is amazing. I would like to take the relationship to the next level but I don’t want him to be a rebound if I realise at some point that all I need is just...clear my ideas and have fun. I desperately need your advice.

I am going to be straight-forward with you: Two months are not enough to forget someone you have been with for 5 years. You are still confused about your feelings and you do not seem to be ready to start a new serious relationship. Take some time for yourself to heal from this painful wound. Meditate and start knowing yourself better. Try to understand what you feel for your ex and your friend. Ask yourself these questions:

How am I feeling after 2 months from my break-up?
What am I looking for?
What type of relationship can I deal with at the moment?
Can I give my friend the love he deserves?

Rebound relationships seem to be the perfect distraction after breaking up. They are a coping mechanism that can help you boost your self-confidence and move on. They can cause great pain to one or both parts. Be honest to yourself and James. Tell him how you feel and what your doubts are. Don’t worry, if it’s meant to be it will be. Time will tell.