Dating with looks in 2019

Kimberly

It truly can be an emotional rollercoaster. One minute you're "talking" to someone and having a great time, and the next you're being ghosted.

If only the magazines that I studied as a teenager had prepared me for the modern world of dating. A world where catching someone's eye across a crowded room just doesn't seem to be enough anymore.

I'll admit, sometimes I still feel like that awkward 16-year old. The one that would do anything to make a boy like me, and I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one.

So, if you're anything like me and have some hilarious stories from your formative years, you'll love Netflix's 'Sex Education'. It really does tick all of the boxes and dishes out some great tips whilst it's at it.

It's only 8 episodes long, but I've compiled some of the best dating advice from the show that I think we can all learn from. Enjoy!

Tip #1. Don't let your insecurities ruin your chances of happiness.

First, let's destroy the notion of someone that you find attractive is probably "out of your league".

I'm aware that I'll probably sound like your mum saying this, but there are lots of qualities that you have that nobody else does.

Maybe you are adventurous and athletic. Maybe you know every word to Harry Met Sally. Or maybe you're just really, really funny. Maybe you are all of that and more. The point is your worth is not determined by how attractive you find someone else.

Now, I totally get that if you're on a dating site, it can feel like an uphill battle trying to get all of these things across. Especially if you're using something like Bumble or Tinder. But that's where your photos come in.

Your photos are the first things that someone is going to see when they click onto your profile. You need to make yours stand out, so get creative!

Make sure that the photos that you use encapsulate your personality. Don't just go with what's popular (hello guy 365 that has done a Tough Mudder, has found a dog to pose with and spent some time abroad petting elephants). Be true to who you are.

A good place to start is by listing five things that you like about yourself, then figure out how to incorporate these things into your pictures. You can always test what works and what doesn't here at DateEnhance! (Find out more here).

So, give that cutie a swipe! Every happy ending starts with an initial conversation.

Tip #2. Just because you like someone, doesn't mean they have to like you back.

An important caveat for the above tip. Just because you've swiped someone that you like the look of, doesn't mean that they owe you anything - Even if they've swiped you back.

You do not know this person.

I'm going to steal a quote from Otis here:

"Sometimes the people we like don't like us back and it's painful, but there's nothing we can do about it."

And if you don't like it? Maybe try something else. People are busy. They could be dating someone else or maybe they've decided they're just not that interested. That's there prerogative. You just have to deal with it and move on.

So, don't be this person:

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Tip #3. It's time to quit thinking that you need to do certain things to make people like you / or because you think that if you don't you'll end up #foreveralone.

If anybody ever makes you feel bad about not wanting to do something on a date or even before any talk of a date transpires, tell them that they've overstepped and see what they do. If they don't seem to take what you're saying seriously, maybe it's time to ditch them.

Respect is so important and if you're seeing signs of disrespect either one message, a few dates or even a few years after you've started dating, you need to know that you don't need to stand for that. You can leave. You will not be "forever alone" or whatever other nonsense the internet is telling you.

You need to look after you, and that starts with knowing yourself enough to understand your boundaries and what you will/ will not stand in a romantic relationship.

Obviously, everyone will have their own version of what respect is and what your boundaries are, and I'm not here to tell you what respect looks like for you.

However, if something feels off or if you feel uncomfortable, check-in with yourself, and remember there are plenty of fish in sea.

Tip #4. Expanding on the last tip. Be proud of your body. But be careful when you're snapping away. You never know how far those photos will go.

We've all heard of revenge porn, and whilst it probably won't get to that level for most people, handing over saucy pictures can get you into some rather sticky situations that I'm sure we'd all rather just avoid.

By sending those pictures you are giving the person that you sent them to the power to send them on.

Do you want that photo sent to five of your crushes friends or shared in a Whatsapp group? No? Hit the delete button.

Be careful with what is in the background of your images too.

I'm not saying that the cute guy from Bumble is going to be stalking you in the same way as Joe Goldberg from "You" but you might want to minimise the chances of being on the wrong end of unwanted attention / manipulation. You'll be surprised at what you can find out about a person within a few clicks.

Tip #5. Quit the intense cyber-stalking before meeting a date.

Sure, you want to know that the person you're meeting is who they say they are, but if you find yourself scrolling way back to 2007 and getting mad at things that they said or did – stop.

People can't change what they've done in the past. What is important is who they are now. Besides, are you really going to judge someone on something that they did when they were 16?

We all mess up. It doesn't mean that we're bad people, and if that doesn't convince you – think back to the person you were in 2007. How would you measure up on the internet judgement scale?

And finally, the most important tip I can give:

Tip #6. Have fun, and make sure that when you're caught up in the excitement of swiping and going on lots of fun dates you don't forget your friends.

And if you ever need any help with choosing the perfect photo, be sure to sign up to DateEnhance.