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3 weird dating stories

Selene

dating

Wild Dating Stories

I’m a hopeless romantic and I blame Disney and Hollywood for this. My high expectations are constantly destroyed by the reality of facts. Shakespeare wrote that “Expectation is the root of all heartache”. Gosh, he was so right!

Dating is hard. It’s like a job or even worse. It’s an unpaid internship where - most of the time - all you get is frustration and distrust of other human beings.

I used to think that maybe I was the problem or I was just totally unlucky in love… but then I realised that “we’re all in this together!”, as Troy Bolton would say.

 

                Why Not Noah?

 

This universal truth gave me the idea of writing about the 3 of the weirdest and most boring dates people went on.

Grab a box of popcorn, make yourself comfortable and enjoy the reading!

 

                      Tv movies GIF on GIFER - by Painwood

 

Eve told me about a time she was using Tinder in the USA. She started texting this guy who was her age, 24 years old. He was very handsome and she liked him. They decided to go on a first date. He arrived on a gigantic BMW and she thought “Wow! Am I this lucky?!”.

 

Guess what! She wasn’t.

 

The guy who picked her up was actually using his brother's Tinder profile. Our poor Eve found out that her fake Casanova was 17 years old, he was driving his dad’s car and it wasn’t the first time he did that. 

                   

 

Shannon is 60 years old and so much love to give to a special one. She went on a date with George, an arrogant 65-year old man who has no respect for anyone.

They met at the bar of a fancy hotel. His face was full of pure disappointment when he saw her. The first thing he said was “I really hope it's a joke! I thought you were younger. You look like an old biddy”.

You could see a kaleidoscope of emotions on Shannon's face. Surprise, indignation,anger, disappointment. After recovering from this roulette of emotions, she told him to stop dreaming because he was a blind  old bat. Then she left. What’s funny though is that another man sitting closeby saw the entire scene, thanked George and got Shannon a drink. It goes without saying that a couple of years later they got married.

I will finish the article with a personal story but before even starting I have a premise to make.

I have this utopian idea that the first date must be (almost) perfect. Said that...

I lived in Milan for 2 years. I was too busy working and too tired during the weekend to go out and socialise but I was single and ready to mingle! That’s why I decided to download a dating app for the first time. I matched with this guy who had a hilarious profile, he was some kind of nerd and we had many things in common. “Would you like to meet?” he asked. I said yes, of course, it seemed like we were made for each other. Who was I to reject an opportunity like this?!

The guy, I’m going to call him Paul, showed up perfectly on time at my place (TEN POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!) but…

He was dressed like Jonah Hill in the following photo…

                                                 Jonah Hill Rocks a Checkered Jacket While Running Errands in Chilly NYC!:  Photo 4219978 | Jonah Hill Pictures | Just Jared

 

I’m not saying that he should have worn a tuxedo but… Isn’t the first impression important?

Darling Paul also thought that it was best not to book a table in a pizzeria on a Saturday night in Milan city centre. So while he was looking for a parking space, I waited for 20 minutes outside the pizzeria hoping they would finally give us a table.It was winter and I was frozen.

Anyway! All’s well what ends well. I decided to forgive the outfit and the long wait because I was sure that conversation and good food would have been amazing.

I was wrong.

Paul spent the entire night talking about his shop and his cat. He never asked anything about me. Finally, it got late. Time to get home. Once in front of my place he asked if he could quickly use the toilet since he had a long journey ahead. 

I was so naive to think that he just needed the toilet since, after getting a couple of glasses of water from the kitchen, I found him half naked in my room.

Not this time Paul, nor in the next life!

On to the next one We must go - Yoda | Meme Generator

Have you got any weird, horror dating story? Tell me all about it in a comment.